Avenue of Broken Dreams

A lot has changed in my life and in the way I live. I'm on my own now like I have mentioned before in the last entry. Although I am struggling severely, I am so blessed to have such friends and people in my life; Eric & Lynn. One is my lover and one is my friend. We all have our problems, our ups and our downs, the ins and the outs, but at the end of the day.. it's alright, we'll be alright.

I can't complain, it may hurt but I refuse to live in luxury now and let my son struggle later. I'd rather struggle and feel the hurt now than let my son struggle later. He will live his life happy as he deserves it. My baby deserves the world.

Eric; he'll always be my baby. He's my armor, my shield, my shoulder to lean on when I'm about to fall. He kicks me down but always picks me back up. Although his anger sometimes take over himself and he doesn't realize what he's doing, he knows at the end of the day; I am his everything, and he can't live without me, as I can't see myself without him. He doesn't know it yet but he is my best friend. He is the only person who sincerely knows my hurt. He can touch me in ways that can make me laugh, cry, and feel so right inside. It brings tears to my eyes because I know right now, our relationship is struggling as well. Nothing is perfect, nothing in this world will ever be all sunshine and walks on the beach with no worries. No relationship, no life, no history will ever be right without problems, a little rain, or even fights, and arguements. It happens. That's how people learn to love each other more and more. But I know not everyone understands this.. sometimes not until it's too late.

Lynn; she is truly a friend. That's my Shorty. She calls me Daddy. (It's supposed to be funny..) We argue, fight, laugh, get mad, curse one another out like any ordinary human being friendship would. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face because she has issues like always doing something stupid or getting real mad over the most idiotic things.. oh man, can't even say enough but we always always laugh it off or talk about it. I'm not a person to hold my tongue so If I care about you, I'll sure enough tell you off because it's my way of showing that I care and that they should appreciate the fact that I am giving a damn. - So far, she's held me down since day 1.. I hope that doesn't ever change because I know I'll always hold her ass down too, like when we wrestle and she can't break free. (loser. lol) (it's all love.)

What now?

I finally moved out. Hurting and it's not cool but I'll be alright. Can't complain because there isn't a point for it and it wouldn't help me get anywhere to begin with anyways so why bother. Thanksgiving Day just pass last Thursday, and although I didn't celebrate it like before, I truly know what and who I'm thankful for. I appreciate the smallest and biggest things in life.. which is everything. I'm on my own now, but I'll be alright.

I'm a big boy now.

Random Rants.

I miss him so much :(.
Yesterday's weather was wonderful..
Owl City is playing right now.
Chip just aimed me.
My left ear is burning!
Ow.., my right butt cheek is starting to hurt.
Ray J - Anytime is playing now.
On the phone with him..
Sean (Shizz) is leaving Wednesday.
Shorty is sleeping beside me.
I have a booger in my right nostril.
..Still not a fan of Pho.
Ow..Shorty just kneed my back, jerk.
Just learned that IBC is really a Root Beer Brand.
I'm hungry again.. ugh.
Kamerin has a fresh cut & shape up.
I am so about to steal Shorty's car (kidding...).
Beyonce & Lady Gaga are amazing females.
Kid Cudi soothes my soul.